Posted on: June 9, 2016
So, you want to learn how to be irresistible? You’ve come to the right place. I’m going to break it down for you in three simple steps.
Step 1: Appearance
When it comes to any type of interaction, before a single word is spoken, you’re already being judged based on how you look. Needless to say, appearance is a huge factor in flirting. Before you step out into the world of dating, there is one thing Barney Stinson undoubtedly figured out: the proper look and attire. Over the last century, the suit and tie has remained a staple in male fashion for one simple reason – it works!
In fact, studies have shown that if females could select only a limited number of desirable traits in a partner, (such as good humour, intelligence, creativity, work ethic etc.) the most desired traits were intelligence, followed by a high yearly income. SURPRISE! Wearing a suit implies both of these. If I were to ask you who wears a suit on a daily basis, the answer would likely be professionals who are considered highly successful or intellectuals in their field.
There is nothing that quite matches a well-groomed man in a suit. Plus, if you look good you feel good. It’s that simple. Even if you don’t go all out with a three-piece suit, a dress shirt, ironed pants and a fresh haircut is a good starting point. Gentlemen, suit up!
Step 2: The play
There are many approaches a man can use to try and get the girl they want. Trust me, I’ve heard it all. *Cough Cough* Bumble. Most men have figured out that the best approach to go with is to make a woman laugh. A good sense of humour is a highly desirable and frequent predictor of both men and women’s feelings of attraction toward one another.
Guys, this doesn’t mean you need to be a stand-up comedian. If she is attracted to you, she will laugh even if your jokes are not funny. (Aren’t we just the sweetest?) But a little light-hearted humour and casual teasing, worked into conversation, will give her an opportunity to see how charming you can be. That being said, men, don’t feel intimidated if being a joker isn’t your forte. The majority of communication messages are determined by non-verbal cues. As Hitch put it, “90 per cent of what you’re saying ain’t coming out of your mouth!” If you’re more conservative by nature, the key is to appear relaxed and confident.
Make eye contact. Shifty eyes imply nervousness and a desire to be somewhere else.
Smile. It’s disarming – and sometimes quite dangerous. Smiling is an involuntary signal of submission and lack of aggression. Your approach becomes much more relaxed by smiling and it sends nonverbal messages to a female that you’re confident and interested.
Compliment. Somewhere throughout history, men got the idea in their head that being an s**hole makes girls want you. It can create an aura of disinterested, playing up a hard-to-get attitude, but in the long run, the girl you want won’t take you seriously if you act like a dick. Be honest and spontaneous about what you like about them and don’t overthink a compliment or it will seem forced and unnatural.
Step 3: Confidence
To an extent, it really doesn’t matter what you say. Your vocal tones (pitch, rhythm, volume) and body language (facial expressions, posture) can signal who you are and what you have to offer. Credibility and power is highly correlated with a sense of relaxation and poise – just take a look at any political figure. Not that this is an electoral debate, but in terms of reception if you’re relaxed, people around you will be relaxed.
Finally, don’t stress if you try and things don’t work out. Rejection doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer. So be confident and go for the one you want. It’s better than living with regret and in the worst case scenario, you’ll have a funny story to tell years later! From my observation on the human population in general, people act shy to hold back their awesomeness from being too intimidating and then they question why they’re single. Confidence is the best game plan yet!
Do you agree?