IS GETTING TOO COMFORTABLE MAKING YOU UNCOMFORTABLE?
It’s no surprise that this new generation of social media, Internet and having our smartphones always at an arm’s reach will have some interesting unprecedented effects on our mental health.
The idea of the “good life” isn’t as appealing to us. We want a life that’s liberating, free and full of wonder and excitement! If you haven’t heard of the term FOMO, the fear of missing out, then you shouldn’t be surprised that with the ease to access information and content at our fingertips today can cause an anxiety around not having it all.
There is one magical bio-chemical that controls it all - dopamine.
It is known as the motivation and reward chemical, initially designed to do things that are hard and what we don’t like, such as exploring new unknown territory and hunting for food, has now been engineered to have us compulsively do what we do like in overdrive.
Like snapping those Instagram pics of food and relishing in culinary experiences? Binge watching Netflix? Getting work done with Slack?
Even the wellness industry capitalizes on this. More varieties of Yoga classes, meditations, more diets and more biohacks to keep you on that road of healthy living as some novelty fad. The problem is, it’s really hard to stop and the results don’t stick. It’s a psychological addiction - and trying to stop it slips us into withdrawal and burns through our willpower. As a result, we get bored easily, we are impatient, and crave instant gratification all the time.
So how do we break through this cycle? What’s the new sweet spot that’s relevant to our generation?
Getting out of the accelerated and modern day technology-driven hamster wheel is actually easier than you think. It comes down to re-orienting this one magical ancient and simple formula that radically transforms our lives…
Have, Do, Be.
We’ve been indoctrinated with this idea of have’s and have not’s, in a material world where we believe that continuously and competitively consuming, whether digitally or materially will bring us happiness (That’s dopamine and psychology used inappropriately).
As a result, we hop on the hamster wheel and overtime we unsustainably burn ourselves out, even if we are achieving all the goals we set out for. This can express itself as fatigue and exhaustion. High anxiety. Cynicism disguised as being real. We can creatively shut down and feel like a tool. Even lead to bouts of existential thinking.
What’s clear that’s come out of this life study across multiple generations is that no matter how smart, or how hard or how fast or how creative we are in this race, we always fall short of that sense of fulfillment.
In other words, many of us feel empty, lonely and depressed inside.
If you like to follow recipes like making the best chocolate chip cookies or baked sushi casserole, then this is the recipe of how we can attain happiness, fulfillment, meaning and deep relationships in our life.
Be, Do and Have.
Notice the difference?
Being stems from who we are. The good news is that it doesn’t require an advanced degree - children are born with this natural ability. As adults, we just forget it, but here’s a way to jog your memory.
Starting with Being means getting clear on your values. Ask yourself, what’s important to you? What’s important to you in your career? In your health? In your relationships and family? In your personal and spiritual growth?
Weed out everything you don’t want in those areas and get super clear on what you do want. (And yes, if you’ve been stuck on the wheel of life, this isn’t an easy undertaking).
As you extend those values into behaviours and activities, it’s life giving and meaningful. It’s intrinsically rewarding. You learn new skills and gain a level of competence around what lights you up inside and adds value to the people and causes important to you. You gain enriching experiences.
Eventually, you achieve the things that you desire.
And this simple formula tweaked and reordered... moves us from Wellness to Wellbeing.
Written by: Duncan So, C.Ht, M.MER, M.NLP & Executive Director at The Burnout Clinic
Are you exhausted, burned out and overworked? You’ve tried everything to recover but it’s not enough? Book a free consultation with our team and learn how a premium Clinical Therapy Staycation can stop your burnout at the source. www.theburnoutclinic.com